He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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