I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
