How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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