my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
