My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
