On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
