I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
How does one acquire holy water?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
