I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
His nipple licking is glorious
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
