so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
