Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
