His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
