so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
