I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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