I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
