I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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