I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I need to calm my uterus...
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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