do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
