am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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