DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
