we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
