i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
