my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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