I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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