Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I am available for nakedness
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
