So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
its not stalking. its research.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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