Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
