Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
