Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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