My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
