Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
