I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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