I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
