well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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