How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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