Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
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