i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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