found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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