We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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