isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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