At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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