Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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