whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just forgot I was standing up.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
