i think i have herpe
just one?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
