a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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