the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
