Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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