my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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