My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
