he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
