just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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