I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
