He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm too high and old for this...
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
