I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
